10 Things Jim 'Crocodile' Cook Definitely Mustn't Do
by obeymyeffingrod
Summary: A sexy australian bathing a crocodile and a bored plus tired Agnes Kaiba equals to stupidity. Let's see what the prankster daughter of Seto Kaiba will do. JimXOC. Anniversary gift for CorGryphonFeather


**A/N:Hello guys, Rodie here! I'm with my first one-shot dedicated to CorGryphonFeather, I made it specially for her! Its a gift for her boyfriend and her 6th anniversary! I know its not perfect and I highly appreciate criticism! My twin, CorGryphonFeather, I hope you'll like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh GX, it belongs to Kazuki Takahashi. I do not own Agnes Kaiba either, my awesome twin CorGryphonFeather owns her **

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** :…10 Things Jim "Crocodile" Cook Definitely Mustn't Do…:**

I threw myself to bed after changing my usual Obelisk Blue uniform and buried my throbbing head to the silky material. It was a tiring and boring day, plus that Viper snake was still creeping the hell out of me. I looked at the barcelet he gave, it was almost shining sinisterly like Viper's mask's eyes itself, except the crystal material was dark blue. To me, it looked like a living animal trapping its prey.

I closed my eyes and rolled over my back, the headache wasn't helping at all. It was so strange that I was fatigue like this after just one duel, to think of it, the boy I dueled wasn't even that strong. Somehow the baby blue ceiling was making me sleepier than I already was.

I remembered seeing the barcelet glowing a monsterly orange just for a milisecond, but it could be my imagination with this state of mind, I couldn't even think straight. Like what's happening now, because there was this splashing sounds coming from bathroom that I imagined out of the blue.

Oh, for the love of God.

"Captain James Cook, you banana bender, just how many times I have to tell you not to bath Shirley here?!" I shouted. Okay, it wasn't a shout-out technically, more like a dying squirrel. But at least I had the strenght to do that.

It would be freaking embarassing if he was showering or there was actually a thief in my bathroom. Well, I certainly wouldn't be embarassed if it was a thief, I grinned as I thought the alternative tortures that I could carry out on the unfortunate thief.

I tried to blow away brown locks that fell right into my eyes, but it was useless since my hair was really thick. I straightened myself and got into my feet, it was a pretty imperessing thing to do in my state, at least for me anyways.

I half crawled half walked towards the bathroom, low hummings and splashing noises increased slowly. Huh. It was actually Jim, who can sing like a hippopotamus other than him? A-HA, it rhymed.

I didn't think my energy would level up after what I saw when I peeked.

FRIGGIN' SHIRTLESS CAPTAIN JAMES COOK.

Okay, okay only his back allright? Now that's what I call "Bringing Sexy Back". Get it? Sexy back?

Ahem.

I covered my mouth tightly and tried not to make a strange sound, like squealing or fangirly noises because observing your boyfriend like this was a total turn on,though he sings like a new-born hippo.

Yes, he's mine bitchez, piss off.

Though his singing was horrible, I still loved listening his voice, that deep Australian accent was making me melt, if he would have to get a teacher to learn singing or something, I believe he can become a soprano. By the way does anyone knows what soprano means? Please tell me if you know. It was a wonder that Shirley liked to listen his singing, I've always adored Shirley and there was a strange understanding between us, a smile creeped to my face as I saw her happily swing her huge tail in my unusually huge bathtub.

My eyes lingered on Jim's tanned and muscly back for a brief moment as I decided to listen to my growling lion and go to the kitchen to stoke.

I slumped towards the kitchen, since it would be beter for my health not to stare at him anymore, I was anemia after all. I stopped right in my tracks as I smelled the sour smell that made my eyes water._ What now? _I thought. I was seriously worried, what had he done to my kitchen now?

I quickly went into my poor kitchen as the intense smell of Jim's masterpiece 'bitch slapped' me and made my head spin like a ferris wheel. I gulped loudly and pinched my nose and braced myself for one of Jim's wonderful cookings. I felt like a soldier taking off, going to the battlefield.

I peeked with one eye open to take a quick glance at the poison… Ahem, food. Jim's surname sure was "Cook", but I actually think that he's the cook from Hell. I slammed the cover of saucepan without losing a milisecond, thank you Jim, the tired mental Agnes Kaiba was back now.

Did I mentioned I'm the only daughter of Seto Kaiba? I bet you didn't see that coming.

I lazily walked over where my specially imported feather made sofa set was, maybe I could take a nap there.

Hell no, I'm not gonna sleep. I had to distract myself somehow, sleeping now equaled to a sleepless night for me, don't look at me like that, its a Kaiba thing. If I sleep now, even Jim's gentle hands that play with my hair and the soothings he says like a purr won't be able to make me sleep. My eyelids started to close as someone put a ton of titanium on them. He was a miracle indeed.

I got my notebook from my home –which was almost like a Chinese Torture- and made myself comfortable on the sofa, yes the sofa. Cold spreading to my butt was preventing me to sleep.

Now, what to write? I knew Jim enough to know that he wasn't getting out of bathroom soon. Plus I was bored to death and also tired. I twirled my pen as millions of ideas crossed my mind once, none were that interesting to write. Should I plan new pranks or something? Nah, not now, Jim would probably ruin them again. One of the important things he definitely mustn't do.

Something in my head 'bing'ed. I was sure this was what they call the bulb in the head.

I writed '15 Things The Banana Bender Definitely Mustn't Do' on the notebook meticiously.

**1.) Singing**

My Jim is a dreamy, gentle, thoughtful and awesome guy and all and I was totally into him, also I adored Shirley so much _BUT _Jim Crocodile Cook just wasn't Elton John. Despite that, it has always shocked me how his voice always was so low and sexy. Singing or not, he could only use that voice for me and only me, not for any girl.

On the plus side, he didn't like to sing in front of everyone, he was kinda shy, which made him cuter and cuter and made me feel special, though I had to share him with Shirley. I frowned as I exhaled deeply.

**2.) Cooking**

No fucking way that I would let him cook after we marry, and we are going to marry. Alexis could go to Jaden for all I care.

Don't misunderstand, I like Alexis very much, but there was this rumors about them that pissed me off too much, what can I say, I have anger management problems. Like mother like daughter.

His cooking tasted like a mixture of killer bee poison and bamboo, do not ask, I am not gonna answer it.

I remembered the first time we tasted Jim's cooking.

_**Flashback:**_

Jaden was wriggling in his seat nervously while Jesse was excitedly describing him the duel he once had with a pro duelist. Syrus and Hassleberry was arguing as usual, about pancakes appearently, personally I had no idea how the topic came to pancakes, from what I remember it started with a viral video named "Do You Like Waffles?" which was Jamie's ringtone right now.

Chazz was whining and huffing about how he was hungry and Jim being a slow-ass. Typical Chazz. Bastion, Axel and Adrian was strangely absent, Bastion had said he had something to do with a pale face after he heard Jim was gonna cook and quickly left the place. I couldn't get a glimpse of Axel and Adrian. That black guy presumably was with Viper and Adrian was way too snobby to eat handmade food.

And finally, I was sitting with Alexis, Robin and Jamie. Alexis was deep in thought, Jamie had already joined Jaden and Jesse's conversation and Robin was sleeping…As usual. It didn't go unnoticed by me that Jesse was throwing surreptitious glances at Robin and Jamie was texting with someone, who was probably Zane.

We were all waiting for Jim's cooking.

"Why in the hell does The Chazz has to wait for the food? The food should wait for The Chazz!" Chazz said angrily, he was obviously disturbed by the situation.

"Shut up and wait for the meal Sarge." Hassleberry said to Chazz between his arguing with Syrus.

The sudden scorching smell made all eyes focus on Slifer Dorms' small kitchen. "What is this smell…?" I asked in a concerned tone because it wasn't a burning smell.

Jamie raised her head from her phone and sniffed the air then grimaced "Bleeeeh! We need to check if Jim is allright, guys."

"He's okay." Robin said, she made us jump of course, I thought she was sleeping! "It is the smell of piggy plant, crocodile tongue, bunny heart, wild mushrooms, thistle and various spices peciular to Australia." She said while stretching and yawning, then a lazy grin spreaded to flame haired girl's face. "It will be a thrilling adventure don't you think?" she said, totally ignoring the horrified faces.

On the other hand Chazz looked all cool "Guys, of course she is lying, there is no way she can know the ingredients only by smelling, The Chazz is not an idiot."

_That's what she said, _I thought.

Robin's sea blue eyes were dull, this was a sign showing that she was bored "We'll see who is right after Jim comes." she said winking. Chazz smirked cockily and "humph"ed. I think that he forgot that lazy bum was a badas genius. By genius, I mean like Einstein. It was really wrong to judge a book with its cover like what Chazz is doing right now.

"Dinnah is ready mates!" Jim came in, I was flushing and sweating at the same time, I really hoped Robin was actually mistaken, and Robin never made mistakes.

I barely could gulp as the smell became more intense, but I couldn't say no to Jim's grinning face, I had a soft side for him.

_My God, may the odds be ever in my favor._ I said while inner me cried waterfalls.

"Oh my Princeton, what's in this?!" Chazz yelled at Jim's face, ready to run for his life.

Jim was obviously proud of what he came up with. "Hmmmm, let's see. Piggeh plant, bunneh heart, crocodile 'ongue, wild mahsrooms, thistle and spice!" he grinned wildy.

Damn, that guy knows exactly how to make my heart gallop.

Chazz's jaw dropped while Robin smirked, Jaden 'wow'ed and Jesse's eyes twinkled. I could feel Alexis's troubled sigh as she sat back. Jamie and dinner was appearently in a stare competition.

"I'll take the first bite!" I said bravely as I hesitantly reached out with my fork.

I remember waking up at the infirmary two days later.

_**Present:**_

I shuddered with the unpleasant feeling, the damned taste in my mouth didn't wear off for a month after that fiasco.

**3.) Teaming Up With Robin and Ruin My Pranks**

Robin and I are soul twins I tell you, I love her dearly, but when it comes to pranks, she is my natural enemy and has a hobby to ruin them. Since Jim likes to 'annoy' me very much, that infamous genius (by genius, I mean that lazy ass) found a way to fulfill her plans. I didn't think that Jim would play the spy very well.

I remember pulling a ketchup prank on Chazz. It was around dinner and we were all waiting fort he special fast-food menu, when Chazz went to toilet I took Chazz's drink's straw, opened a ketchup pack, placed the straw in the ketchup and inserted the strawed ketchup pack in his drink before you could say Jack Robinson.

I chuckled, Chazz was always on guard after that.

I also had dyed Jamie's hair white, thw whole school was in uproar, Jaden and Jamie said they wanted to pair up with me non-stop and Aster didn't leave Jamie alone and mocked her all the week. Finally I had ended up pairing with Miranda, who was a tsundere.

We wanted to stick Jesse and Robin together with handcuffs, but me and Jim got handcuffed instead. To think that we got together that day, I'm not regretting it anyways.

I once tried to prank Hassleberry with a Dinasour Barney clock, and I made the alarm song "I Love You,You Love Me". I planted it while he was asleep and pleasant to hear the clock shatter on the wall with a roar in the morning.

My only failure was Robin since Jim was the spy, but I will get her someday, if she won't out smart me of course

**4.) Bathing Shirley Here**

I was really rigorous about that, yet he said he was more satisfied by using my bath, then I snaked in his room and found out the bathtub was comfortable enough for Shirley!

_**Flashback:**_

" 'ey Sheila, I like your bathtub more, can't ya just let meh use it?" Jim said while arching an eyebrow at me.

"Correction." I said "'Can't you just let Shirley use it?'.Your bathtub is really big and comfy enough for Shirley." I pointed her with my chin while doing the paperwork that father had given to me.

Jim sighed as he sat the sat in front of me "Please? I am gonna clean the mess Shirley woulda make, please baby girl?"

I was really soft towards him wasn't I?

Seeing that I wasn't giving a reaction he smiled and said "I just wanna spend mah time with ya Agnes."

I smiled.

_**Present:**_

But I really didn't want a crocodile smelled bathroom.

**5.) Trying To Speak In an English Accent**

There was two occasions when Jim wasn't actually cute, the first is singing, as you know. The second one is trying to do an English accent. Plus, the reason I crushed on him was his accent, the reason I fell in love with him was his everything. I'm not saying I would no longer love him if he decided to change his accent, I would of course respect his decision, but something inside me would break away anyways.

But I know he wouldn't change it, because whenever he tries to, he sounds like a bear giving birth.

**6.) 'Charming' Me While Dueling**

Okay, this was a special case because I think he doesn't realize that he does that while dueling me, the problem is me. I always lose to him, I've never won a single duel against him. Don't underestimate me, I'm the daughter of Seto Kaiba, I look just like him on the outside, especially my icy blue eyes.

And why is that he keeps winning against me all the time? Because the way he duels is totally reflecting him and I go to an another dimension while watching him, he is the only person that can waver my guard like this. By the time I notice what's happening, I got frustrated and Jim beats me quickly.

Sometimes I feel like an extremely sensitive girl. Sometimes I daydream about him –usually in Crowler's lectures- and imagine him smiling brightly, his cowboy head is off and his spiky hair is visible to me under the bright sun. Despite the look of his hair, his hair is really soft and pleasant to play with. I think his secret recipe is crocodile oil.

**7.) Going All Aussie On Me**

I loved and hated it at the same time, I wasn't this fangirly like this in my whole 18 years! Then that cowboy bumped into me while running away with Shirley from zoo employees. Me, being the Kaiba family's little angel got involved and spent the night in prison with him and Shirley got taken by the zoo. I think that I started to crush on him that night.

Of course my father scolded me after he took me out of prison and gave Shirlet back to Jim, we started to hang out often after that. I must admit 14 year old Jim was a total cutie pie. His eyes were much more bigger and he wasn't that boyish like he was now.

I'm not the fangirl type, I'm Agnes Kaiba you know, even though I'm a Kaiba; I'm a tomboy, a prank lover, a mishchievous and a little dense girl but not a fangirl, being a fangirl isn't my type, so I hate that how he makes m ego all crazy like this.

**8.) Talk To My Dad**

My dad is a drop dead serious guy and hates Australian people, altough I don't know why, I heard it was about Uncle Valon. I really loved him, he and my mum are Aussies, this is one of the reasons I love Australian people and their accent, though my mother Gabriel Kaiba speaks in an American accent.

Uncle Valon is an awesome guy, he was beside me more than my actual dad was and supported me with my decisions. I always remember him when I look at Jaden because they have similar personalities and grins. He got married with Aunt Serenity when I was five, I remember it in pieces but I'm sure I've never seen Uncle Valon that happy and kind before. Plus he is mischievous just like me, and we have pranked Uncle Joey so much that one day he forbid us stepping in his house. Thanks to Uncle Valon's gentle son Jesse, we were able to soften Uncle Joey, hopefully my dad hasn't heard of that. Yet.

I respected my mum very much since she got the patience to deal with dad, when I barely could stand his attidute. Plus, she was very lovely, amazing and a super special awesome mum. Just think of your mother, I'm sure you will understand what I'm talking about.

My dad has never liked Jim since he first met him at the police thought he forced me to help him out and he was actually a thief, but it was a wonder that he was greatly interested in Shirley, that's why we were able to hang out often, I knew how to take advantage of dad thanks to mum and Uncle Valon.

When Jim talked with my dad, there was this tense athmosphere that made me wanting to go all Chuck Norris. And the athmosphere would make Jim feel bad about himself, I hated to see him sad so I'm going to forbid him from talking to my dad someday.

**9.) Being Lovey-Dovey With Shirley In Front of Me**

I am not a jealous girl, thus I don't get jealous over Jim so much since I'm the only girl he looks at…Okay not technically, I have to share him with Shirley, his female crocodile. But that doesn't mean he can use Shirley as a bait to make me jealous, he once said I looked cute when I was angry, that's why I let it go usually, but I don't like the feeling I have when he does that in front of me, I want to hit or shout at someone. Well, that's what Hassleberry would call an angry dinasour.

Sometimes.

**10.) Interrupting Me While I'm Watching Doctor Who**

I usually torture anyone who interrupts and distracts me or makes a noise while I'm watching Doctor Who. I grew up with that series and became a nerd for it, actually its the only show that I watch when I have time after I finish the paper work that father has given to me or I don't have an assembly in Kaiba Corp. That old geezer became more demanding after he became 30.

Back to Doctor Who, I personally love the eleventh doctor da best. Because it was the first doctor who installation that I could watch properly thanks to my mum because she said I should take a break from studies and all the business shit. It helps me from thinking the real world and enjoy the feeling that the fantastic reality gives.

And it annoys me when _he _comes in. I love Jim, duh, but no one can distract me while watching or daydreaming about it, I'll kill anyone does that.

I think he won't do it after that cold shower experience I've gave as present.

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I nipped on the edge of my pen thoughtfully, there were many things that I wanted to write but the new episode of Doctor Who was coming out today! I excitedly looked at my wristwatch and relieved to see that it wasn't the time that the show started.

I had a feeling that someone was watching me. I turned around and saw that Jim was looking at me with a confused expression.

"I think that ya were writin some love scene baby girl." He said while laughing, Shirley looked amused too.

"I think that you were trying to kill me with the thing in kitchen." I replied playfully, I still didn't got the energy to stand up.

He arched a brow at me and sat on my favorite armchair, I guessed that he saw my exhaustion. "Vas wrong?" he said with a worried tone, he put his cold hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. "I don't have a fever, James." I took his hand and reunited our fingers. "I'm just tired." I said. " 'hat bio-bands has got some trick in 'em, but I've not figured out 'et." He said seriously. "I know" I pointed out "Should we go to the Slifer Dorm for the dinner?" I winked.

He pouted fakely. I eyed to the notebook.

_I've wasted my time, _I thought. _I don't want him to change._

I let him carry me all the way to Slifer Dorms, although I could already feel Robin and Jamie's insuniating looks.

This was the best feeling ever.

**A/N: Please read and review and I'll send you a cookie! **

**HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO CORGRYPHONFEATHER AND HER BOYFRIEND :))))**


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